Time To Lose Our Shit: There’s 20% Off At ASOS?

It’s the day we’ve all been waiting for. That beautiful ASOS email slinkily slides its way into your inbox and you frantically click the link that sends you into the eye of the sartorial storm. ⚡️??????
(Relevance of the photo? I’m wearing head-to-toe ASOS, betches! Outfit deets within.)

SS15’s Must-Have Accessory: Confidence

In which I confront the bizarre high-school conformity of the Jane Norman paper bag and explain why confidence is key. (P.S. Is it just me or is Jane Norman thee most standard name on earth? Who calls a shop that? Same goes for the furniture store, Paul Simon. I appreciate it being your namesake but c’mon guys, spice it up a bit!)

I Fanny Farted In My Boyfriend’s Mouth

Sebastian was on to something when he sang: “Darling it’s better, down where it’s wetter”. But the little crustacean crooner didn’t warn us about fanny farts, did he?! (ph via joesdaily)

The Feather Jacket My Wardrobe Has Been Waiting For

‘FUCK, how do I pose?! Mustn’t look at the cam. That never works out well for me. THE FLOOR! That’s it! LOOK AT THE FLOOR! All bloggers do it. It’s fine. Just act like there’s something real tasty down there. Maybe a 20 nugget box is waiting for you out of shot. That’s right. Now touch your face to suggest you’ve been captured in action. Deep and meaningful, Daisy. A-ha! NAILED IT.’

Ribbed For Your Pleasure

THIS SKIRT, man! So slinky. Slightly sporty. Ever so slitted. This baby is the definition of ‘ribbed for your pleasure’ and I, for one, am stoked about its arrival into my wardrobe.

Silky Pantaloons Make The World Go Round

Just two blondes, having a giggle. P.S. those aren’t abs; it’s just really conveniently formed fat.

Check It, Babycakes

In the words of the Beastie Boys: Check-ch-check-check-check-ch-check it out.

Champagne Supernova

I’m aware that I’ve worn this outfit before. In my defence, aren’t clothes meant to be worn more than once? Discuss.