Advice I’d Give My Younger Self

In which I give sage, invaluable advice to a young girl obsessed with her boobs, MSN and Dream Matte Mousse: me.

What Not To Do When Making a Sex Tape

We were on holiday near a place called Heraklion. I made a joke about premature herakulation and started referring to the holiday as our ‘holidaisy’. My ego was soaring. My fake tan was fresh. Conditions were great. We decided to make a sex tape… (ph. via Tumblr)

Consider My Feathers Ruffled

In which I make six fashiony statements that will undoubtedly revolutionise your life, and your wardrobe. Mainly your wardrobe.

What Blog Shooting *Really* Looks Like

Join me as I give you a no holds barred insight into the world of fashun blawging, complete with unflattering photographs. Please be upstanding for my five chins.

Bon Bon Voyage

This Bon Bon bag is my spirit animal, I’m sure of it.

In Defence of Not Douching

How does that inspirational, popular-on-the-gram quote go? ‘If a guy can’t handle your asshole at its worst, then he doesn’t deserve it at its best.’ Yep, I think that’s it.

Story Time: My Hair Mare

In which I discover exactly what I’m worth. Because I’m worth it. A tale of battered hair and battered esteem.

Do The Hippy Shake

*The remarkability of this exclamation is put into perspective once you know that I have no plans to marry. It’s money I’d rather spend on my closet.