Soooo, no biggie but glorious ol’ Toppers contacted me recently and gave me the opportunity to gift a Pie & Fash reader a £200 voucher. Did I say no biggie? Sorry I meant: HOW AMAZING IS IT THAT TOPSHOP HAVE GIVEN ME A £200 VOUCHER TO GIVE TO ONE OF YOU GUYS? Major. So major. Deets within.
In which I confront the bizarre high-school conformity of the Jane Norman paper bag and explain why confidence is key. (P.S. Is it just me or is Jane Norman thee most standard name on earth? Who calls a shop that? Same goes for the furniture store, Paul Simon. I appreciate it being your namesake but c’mon guys, spice it up a bit!)
‘FUCK, how do I pose?! Mustn’t look at the cam. That never works out well for me. THE FLOOR! That’s it! LOOK AT THE FLOOR! All bloggers do it. It’s fine. Just act like there’s something real tasty down there. Maybe a 20 nugget box is waiting for you out of shot. That’s right. Now touch your face to suggest you’ve been captured in action. Deep and meaningful, Daisy. A-ha! NAILED IT.’
To personify it, I’d say my vagina is less like the abrupt, rude bouncer, and more like the approachable bouncer who really *wants* to appease you and let you in but just can’t. (p.s. pretty proud of my Barbie edit, if I do say so myself)