It’s the day we’ve all been waiting for. That beautiful ASOS email slinkily slides its way into your inbox and you frantically click the link that sends you into the eye of the sartorial storm. ⚡️??????
(Relevance of the photo? I’m wearing head-to-toe ASOS, betches! Outfit deets within.)
In which I confront the bizarre high-school conformity of the Jane Norman paper bag and explain why confidence is key. (P.S. Is it just me or is Jane Norman thee most standard name on earth? Who calls a shop that? Same goes for the furniture store, Paul Simon. I appreciate it being your namesake but c’mon guys, spice it up a bit!)
‘FUCK, how do I pose?! Mustn’t look at the cam. That never works out well for me. THE FLOOR! That’s it! LOOK AT THE FLOOR! All bloggers do it. It’s fine. Just act like there’s something real tasty down there. Maybe a 20 nugget box is waiting for you out of shot. That’s right. Now touch your face to suggest you’ve been captured in action. Deep and meaningful, Daisy. A-ha! NAILED IT.’
To personify it, I’d say my vagina is less like the abrupt, rude bouncer, and more like the approachable bouncer who really *wants* to appease you and let you in but just can’t. (p.s. pretty proud of my Barbie edit, if I do say so myself)