My Totally Realistic Christmas List

 

I know, I know – I am SOOO hard to buy for. With that in mind, I thought I’d compile y’all a wishlist so that
1. your lives are made easier when frantically racking your brains for gift ideas for lil’ ol’ me * insert angel face * and 2. I get presents that I actually like. The world is far more harmonious when I’m a happy bunny so let’s just keep it that way, yeah? Top of my list are Ruth Melbourne nipple pasties because, well, why wouldn’t you want to lavish your nips in crystals? All women know that nipples enjoy some lovin’, and that doesn’t change when the lovin’ comes in Swarovski form. GET ON MA NIPS, I want sparkly tits!

As anticipated, alorra this list is shearling/mongolian/fur and feather based because I simply cannot help myself; just call me kinaesthetic Kev. ASOS have delivered harddd on the fluff front recently and Toppers are notorious for show-stopping feather throw-ons, so I really do suggest having a sneak peek if you’ve got a loved one who likes to dress like a skyward sass-meister as much as I do. Discount Universe have killed it with these b-ball shorts (don’t even get me started on the accompanying styling because that shit is off the chaaaain) and I feel as though Dyspnea have looked into my soul and immortalised me as this super bodacious pom pom two-piece.
Jesus, there’s just so much wardrobe wizardry out there and I need it aaaalllllll!

See something you like? Just click it, babeh! Shopping made easy. Thank me later, bbz.

 

Psst.. ASOS have got 20% off this weekend with code DECEMBER20. Again, thank me later. Or just buy me one of the above items. Y’know, whatever’s easier. cough * Isabel Marant shearling jacket * cough

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