You may be familiar with Kendall Jenner. You may also be familiar with Kendall Jenner’s boobs. Photos of her itty-bittys, spied through sheer tops and low-cut camis, are all over the web. No big deal, right? She’s ditched the bra and, quite frankly, she DGAF. After igniting tit debates worldwide (‘Woman! Boobs! ZOMG!’), Kendall had this to say about living her best boob life: ‘I really don’t see what the big deal is with going braless. I think it’s cool and I really just don’t care! It’s sexy, it’s comfortable and I’m cool with my breasts. That’s it!’ We feel you, KJ. These are the bodacious things you’ll know to be true if you, like KJ, have ditched the bra…
1. No bra = no bother. Halter-neck, strapless, cross-back, front-fastening. Your tits are exhausted just thinking about the many ways they can be restrained. If you skip the bra, you skip the faff. Simples.
2. It’s a time-saving exercise. Granted, you only save yourself a minute every morning, but every second counts. You utilise that time to ensure your contour is as sharp as your breasticles are happy.
3. You have never felt comfort like it. You said buh-bye to your upper-decker-flopper-stopper – freeing your mammaries from their chamber in the process – and now you’re reaping the rewards. The rewards being LIVING THE UPPER TORSO DREAM! Such comfort. Much loveliness.
4. Current status: smug AF. I see your hella comfortable harem pants and I raise you a couple of unencumbered tatas. Come at me, bra(h). On second thoughts, don’t.
5. Nipples = ready made accessories. There’s something about a hint of nip that feels very fashun, non? Maybe it’s because you feel slightly more like Kendall making her debut on the Marc Jacobs runway. Maybe it’s because you feel an affinity with Scary Spice, circa 2005. Maybe it’s because you feel like you’re channelling RiRi (unofficial poster-child for the Free The Nipple movement). Either way, you’re into it.
6. Bras don’t necessarily benefit you. This one, we understand, is gonna be a hard sell for the big-buster laydeez, but bear with us. Research by French professor, Jean Dennis Rouillon, suggests that donning a bra during your formative years could compromise your breast tissue (‘Breasts gain no benefit from being denied gravity’) and weaken the muscle around your melons. Any excuse to bin ze brassiere!
7. Matching your bra to your undies is a thing of the past. You know that thing you only ever do once in a blue moon when you feel like you’ve really got your life together? Well you don’t have to bother now! Buh-bye, matchy matchy. Hello, random knick-knacks.
8. You are saving big bucks by skipping the bra buying. Money you have subsequently spent on a pair of fluffy slides. Because your trotters deserve comfort, too.
9. You never have to worry about a bra strap ruining your outfit vibe. That trouble is a thing of the past, mon amis. Never again will you have to scan over an outfit shot and then lambast yourself for not having the good sense to tuck your bra strap in.
10. Bardot tops are having a moment, so you’re ahead of the curve. Prior to saying sayonara to your spenny support system, you were having a mare trying to figure out how to embrace this season’s hottest top – the shoulder-baring bardot – while keeping your straps firmly out of sight. Since freeing your jugs from their confinement, you no longer have this problem. WIN!
11. Under-boob sweat? What under-boob sweat? We rest our case.
12. You have that ‘home is where the bra is NOT!’ feeling 24/7. You know that sweet relief you feel when you whip your bra off at the end of the day? Well imagine that, except ALL THE TIME. Pretty awesome, non? ( • ) ( • )