If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll have probably seen – and consequently unfollowed – the sheer deluge of holiday photos I fervently flooded the social media platform with. Under my dutiful, diligent and, frankly, obsessive watch, no sea, pool, flower, booty, pink wall or evening outfit went unchronicled. No rock went unturned. Literally. If there was a rock with an Instagrammable element, I would be sure to capture it. SO SHOOT ME! I haven’t been on holiday in yonks and I wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to immortalise this slightly glam respite amongst the day-to-day drearyness of my usual existence. One must ALWAYS make good use of sensational natural lighting; that’s, like, the rules of Instagram.
Right, now the deets (in case you were interested and had made it this far): the boyf and I went to a resort called Athina Palace on the Greek Island of Crete. It was clean and the food was good (having gone All Inclusive and eaten the islands supply of pancakes and bacon, I’m afraid I can’t give a more in-depth description) but, as one quick scan of TripAdvisor will tell you, the view is da bomb diggity: ‘you pay for the view!’, ‘I’d pay more money simply for the view!’, ‘boy, wait until you see the view!’ they cry. Those TripAdvisor folk love a good view. As do we. So it was all good. The hotel is made up of pastel-coloured apartments and bungalows that are built-up along the coastline, giving you uh-may-zing panoramic views of the sea and the bays and the mountains and all the other surrounding scenery that don’t feature in my literary arsenal (geography never was my ting). We were far too lazy to venture and simply bopped from brekky to private beach to pool to lunch to pool to room to dinner to cocktails to bed. It was fan-fucking-tastic. Would I recommend it? Yes. Negatives: The coastline element means that the area is hella hilly. Steps everywhere. E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E. You can’t escape walking up a sharp incline. Positives: The steps make for a GREAT, unintentional booty workout. My ass has gone to shit since being home. The price is good, too. And boy, do I miss the view.